nature: pier

NaBloPoMo entry #18

Today I renewed a loan with my FAVORITE CUSTOMERS OF ALL TIME. I wish all my customers were as cool as they are. They seem like they really value life & living & get that each moment is a gift. Plus, they really seem like they're in love. They're in their late 60s. They're so cool. Today I heard about their first ever "wild" vacation in which they went to San Diego and spent all the money they had saved up for it without worrying about it, AND about his trip with their daughter to the Cowboys Stadium (which he loves).

Why can't all my customers be so awesome???

Here's a joke for you:

So there was this couple on their wedding night. The man, feeling all sorts of manly & macho, hands his trousers to his wife & says "Put these on." She thinks he's nuts, but things have been so good that day, she decides to indulge him. Of course, the pants are too big. She puts them on & they fall right off. She tells him "Honey, I can't wear your pants." Still feeling pretty damn cocky he says "Damn straight. You remember that. I wear the pants in this relationship." She looks at him, one eyebrow arched so high you can barely see it and throws her panties at him. "Yeah?" she says. "Well put these on!" And of course, he cannot fit into her panties. He struggles, but they won't go any higher than his knees. "Babe, I can't get in your panties," he complains. "Damn straight," she shoots back at him. "And you won't be getting in them until you change you attitude!"
bourbon street

NaBloPoMo entry #17

Six names you go by:
1. Jessica
2. Jess
3. Jesskat3 (my mom calls me that)
4. JessKate (my mom again)
5. Mom
6. Aislynn's mom

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. black dress
2. gray tights
3. hot pink bra

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. to win the lottery
2. to have control over my weight
3.to be at Disney

Three people you hope will do this meme:
1. Jess - you said you were having boring NaBloPoMo posts
2. anyone!
3. a stranger

Three things you did last night:
1. Watched the new American Horror Story
2. ate peanuts that f*cked with my UC
3. skipped church (see #2)

Three people you talked to on the phone recently:
1. stupid customers
2. applicants
3. my boss's wife

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. supposed to go do something with Andre
2. write for NaNoWriMo
3. get paid

Four of your favorite drinks:
1. water
2. coffee
3. mint iced tea
4. hot tea

Three things that made you smile today:
1. Aislynn's hilarious ways
2. The MAY-JUH awkwardness of my 25 year old customer hanging around 45 minutes longer than he needed to & telling me "I like white girls." so i told him "I know your mom."
3. my friend John sending me a text that said "I need you to come here and save me from this flock of crying trannies"
help i'm in love with a fictional charac

NaBloPoMo day 16

If you could spend a day with any fictional character, who would it be and what would the two of you do?


Caitlin from Summer Sisters. I would ask her WTF is up with her?! What happened in her life to make her so crazy and selfish? How could she act the way the did? Since it's Caitlin we'd be speidng the day in Paris or on the island of Sciliy or somewhere equally fabulous. But the conversation wouldn't be so fabulous.

In other news, there is a girl here interviewing with my boss for the open spot at my work who used to work at cards with me. I didn't remember her until I saw her. Let's just say... I could tell stories. I ran into her at a party once and what I saw was not pretty. See? You do some dumb thing once and it can haunt you forever. Not that my story will make a difference in her interview. She was 23 minutes late, so my boss was mad. Can't say I blame him.

disney: cinderella dress

NaBloPoMo entry #15

Today's post is brought to you by Jimmy Buffett. I thought I'd share one of my favorite songs with you & tell you why :)



If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me. I love this song because it's about moving on & sometimes when you do that people get left out of your life. You grow apart, you lose touch or in some sad case, you just quit caring. I like how Jimmy sings about it kind of matter-of-factly. He still cares, but they're not talking for whatever reason, so he's just moving on.

Great line: If our lives were that simple, we'd live in the past.

In other news, my NONcustomers have driven me up the wall today. People applying for loans & people calling on "behalf" of other people seem to all be mentally incompetent. A few of my customers have been horrible too... If I call you for 10 days in a row, 18 times a day (six times per phone number, 3 phone numbers listed) and leave 1 message on each line every day, and you don't return my call... well. On the 11th day, I will call all six of the references that YOU LEFT FOR ME TO CALL! So don't call back screaming because I embarrassed you. Because the truth is, I am super nice. When I call references, I pretend that my dead beat customers are NOT late on payments, but that I only have a simple question for them. I never reveal information (mostly because it's illegal).

That's kind of how my day was.

Also, I volunteered to babysit for my boss this weekend for his birthday :) His son is the cutest thing ever & his wife wants to take him out for a wild weekend.

pretty: sparkler

NaBloPoMo entry #14 part 2

This morning's entry was subject to my loud squeals and nothing else. I feel like I should put in a LITTLE more effort at least.

So let me start by saying this. After watching the trailer 3216473651 times today, i'm starting to wonder how the heck Miley Cyrus gets ANYTHING done. Her boyfriend Liam plays Gale and every time he opens his mouth, my heart jumps just a little bit. Enough that I'm about to go watch The Last Song, even though I've heard it's incredibly sad. His voice is just so nice. And by nice I mean MakesMeHeartGoNutsSomebodyBreakOutThePantyDrier.

I swear, I spend all week looking forward to Wednesday and Friday now, just for American Horror Story and Supernatural. Today I kept thinking about AHS and then as soon as I watch a new episode, I'll start wishing for Supernatural.

Okay, so Miley Cyrus is walking on the beach in combat boots so far in this movie. Really? Okay, so far, Liam looks better as Gale. Indeed.

I don't really have a ton more to say today. Well I do, but it's not that interesting.

Oooo I just thought of something! Do yall Pintrest? It's pretty damn cool. It's like a virtual bulletin board. I am always bookmarking pictures of stuff, so it's quite handy for me. Everything in one place. There was something else. But I can't remember it now. I do you'll be the first to know.

OH DANG I REMEMBERED! Look at this recipe!!!!!!!! Vodka Hot Chocolate with Baileys Marshmallows! Seriously that looks so good. While that kind of vodka is quite yummy, if you haven't tried it before, I would say be VERY careful. you will get VERY drunk VERY quickly. i'm going to make it without the vodka but with the Bailey's homemade marshmallows. delish!

disney: cinderella dress

NaBloPoMo entry #13

I hit the halfway point at NaNoWriMo. Halfway plus 44 words to be exact! I'm glad because I am behind in other stuff. I'm beta-ing 2 things right now and I haven't gotten very deep into them yet (although I will today because I promised their owners i'd return them today!), plus I'm behind at one of my RPGs. I only got the other one caught up last night. I am also getting concerned about my goal of reading 100 books this year. I don't think it's going to happen. I might be able to shoot for 80 but for 2012, it's definitely going to be 100.

My eating habits are heading down the road known as nerve-wracking again. They did this last year & I lost 40 lbs in about 3 months, which was super fab except that I gained about half of my total weight loss back. The upside to this now is that I'm actually exercising (bike riding, walking places, snowboarding, etc. I don't do gym time) so maybe it will stay off but I'd love to have a healthy relationship with food. However, unless you're a person who naturally likes to eat veggies & lean meats and you love to exercise (and there are like 4 of those people in the world) i'm coming to the conclusion that in this day and age, healthy food relationships don't exist. I think people who say they have a healthy food relationship are lying. Last night I found myself reading all these website i've had bookmarked from last year about "tips" to help you with cravings, over-eating & losing weight. While they all seem to start off with good intent, they slide downhill after a while & offer tips like "cut an apple into 4. if you have 1 piece for breakfast, 1 for lunch and 1 for dinner, you'll still have a piece left over for a snack."

really?

really?

that's not helpful in the least.

then there are words like "thinspiration". google that & you'll find a few reasonable things but mostly you'll find pictures of girls and guys in their knickers who look like walking skeletons. Like they're going to drop dead any second. that's just nasty. i want a person with a similar body type to me who is fit to call thinspiration. not someone who thinks bones are sexy. i don't have boobs like Kate Winslet or Sofia Vergara but those are purchase-able, right?

but i'm just rambling now, so i'm gonna wrap this up and drink more coffee and take more vitamins.

yup.

i was just kidding!
s&d: brothers walking

NaBloPoMo entry #12

Today's NaBloPoMo is brought to you by the following:
Football
JK Rowling
NaNoWriMo
Paris
Supernatural

Lets start with Paris. I guess i dreamed I was back in Paris last night, because I woke up feeling warm and happy (that could have also been my groovy flannel sheets) thinking about croissants, cappuccino and the world's most delicious orange juice. I would very much like to go back there and spend a little more time. I read in a book (The Last Little Blue Envelope) that no one "gets" Paris the first time around. I believe that. I sure didn't. Don't know how they make their orange juice, but it was amazing. just amazing. same with the cappuccinos. i haven't found an American cappuccino that came even close. Chocolate infused croissants at a sidewalk cafe across from Notre Dame in the summer. Perfect much?
A really big expensive Parisian breakfast. We split it among 3 of us so it was more reasonable! People say that the bacon in Europe sucks. Well, I have to say I love my back CRISPY. like it breaks when I look at it crispy. this (and what i had in London) was more like thin shaved ham, so I really adored it. yummy yummy all around! Hi! We just arrived in Paris!

Next, FOOTBALL. If you're not from the south, you can still REALLY, REALLY love football. Trust me, I've seen it. But I don't think you can possibly understand that deep personal feeling you get when you hear the word(s?) SEC or truely understand a football rivalry. Don't call it a religion though. Southerns have plenty of that too, and while they do mix, your favorite team would never expect you to miss Sunday morning service for a game. No, if there has to be a game on a Sunday, they will politely wait (at their own churches) until service is over. The importance of praying before a game shouldn't be underestimated. Now of course, that doesn't just cover football. Recently I posted a picture of surfing great Kelly Slater (aka Ke11y) praying before a heat, but general sports and religion is a whole different subject for another day. http://pics.livejournal.com/jessicakmalfoy/pic/001a2rq4/

Back to FOOTBALL. I have decided that I want Aislynn to go to AUBURN. While it's very true that I can't actually MAKE her go anywhere for college, it IS true that I am the mommy who holds the key to her 529 college fund. My choices for her are Auburn, LSU, followed by UNM. Cause if she can't get in there, she might as well go to UNM and take advantage of the lottery scholarship this state gives to everyone who graduates here.

If she went to bama, i'd have to financially cut her off. I just couldn't do it. Speaking of bama, here are some bama fans at last week's bama VS LSU game:


I get happy when I see this!

Now to JK Rowling. As I mentioned yesterday, I wrote a post about how she was one of my heroes, but it got deleted. So, let me summarize that for you again. It's not just because of Harry Potter that JKR is so awesome. It's mostly because of the circumstances that she was in and then pulled herself out of. She was a single mom on welfare when she was writing it. She could have been like "oh sucky i'm on welfare. i have this cool book idea but i'd rather just sit here on welfare all day and sob about it." but she didn't. i'm a huge fan of rising above your current circumstances, so the fact that she did thrills me to no end.

and Supernatural. This season just keeps getting better and better! Last night's episode was super funny, plus it had Crowley, who i seem to have some sort of randomly odd crush on. I really like him. I want to see him & the boys team up where no one gets the shaft in the end!

Lastly, NaNoWriMo. Since I've decided to snag me an agent next year, I was thinking of asking someone to read and edit the first 50 pages of my novel. What's a good price for that? Anyone know?
disney: cinderella dress

NaBloPoMo day # 11

Who are your heroes?


I just wrote a book's worth of info for this post & it didn't get saved!

Guess I'll be doing it tonight.

EDIT: originally this was a very long post about how JK Rowling was my hero & all the reasons why, then I went on to talk all kinds of stuff about NaNoWriMo, my novel, how American Horror Story gave me inspiration and... lots of stuff.

anyway, i went to post it and it all went away! that sucks!

however, when just that question up there posted, syven answered it and that turned out to be really cool! so if you wanna tell me your heroes, i'd love to know and tomorrow i'll repost all the other things i wanted to say.

model: paul walker wet

NaBloPoMo entry #10

Resolutions, 2 months early.

Here are my resolutions. I've decided to go ahead & make them.

1. Read 100 books (this is also my goal for this year. i'm about 20 books away, which isn't bad except that it's NaNoWriMo so this month there won't be a lot of that).

2. Send my novel to 50 different agents. Or more.

3. Blog at least 4 times a week.

4. Quit starving myself to lose weight. Exercise more. Seriously. In any way, shape or form.

5. Have sex with a supermodel. Or Paul Walker. I say this every year!